Mar 22

It’s kind of an unwritten law at Cracked that you shouldn’t pay attention to the comments section. Why give any thought to the words of a couple hundred people when your article is being viewed by hundreds of thousands of people?

It’s sound logic. Sound logic that I completely ignore. I always read comments. There are several reasons for that, but the biggest reason is pretty simple. Internet comments are wildly entertaining. 

My favorite brand of Internet comment is the one that’s posted by people who CLEARLY didn’t read or were unable to comprehend the words written in the actual article.

For this week’s column, 5 One Hit Wonders Who Deserve Your Respect, the dim-witted masses rallied around the fact that “OMG DEVO AND FAITH NO MORE ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN ONE HIT WONDERS, YOU GUYS!” 

Yes, idiots, I know. That was the entire point of the article. While all of the bands on this list are known in the US (outside of their loyal and, as we see here, sometimes borderline illiterate fanbase) mostly for one gigantic song and not much else, they really did so much more that people should be aware of.

Unfortunately, the following people seem to have skipped over that point entirely, opting instead to make themselves look retarded on the Internet:

"They just happened to have MEGA hits that outshined the rest of their body of work." Right, hence the importance of including them on this list.

By “stopped reading” he means “I read the name of each band until I found one I could whine about.”

Really? Mark Motherbaugh went on to score movies and TV shows? Why didn’t I think to mention that exact thing in the article? Oh, wait, I totally did.

You know what, I take everything back about Dexy’s Midnight Runners. Fuck them and Eileen.

Yes, maybe even according to the stupid list that I linked to right in the article. Go yell at those people, dummy. I’m on YOUR side.

I really need to look into this “the guy from Devo did a bunch of movie scores” thing. Who knew?

I turned 16 in March, thank you very much. (March of 1992, that is.)

And that you not reading far enough to realize that I DO know this somehow makes you depressed, in turn, makes me unspeakably happy. I hope it turns into full blown Bipolar Disorder. I’d love to know I can have that kind of effect on people.

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